You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author ofThe Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit showBraxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...
I need your help. My best friend is a very close friend of my ex-boyfriend's and it is killing me. I love her and she has been there for me more times than I can remember, and at times even more so than I have been for her. She is always encouraging and I honestly am so glad to have her in my life. However, I am beginning to resent her a little and it is eating me up inside. She is my best friend, but she has also become my ex's best friend now that we are broken up. They do all the things we used to do together. They go out to eat, dancing, to bars and even recently exchanged Christmas gifts.
Before I started dating him, I used to encourage her to date him because they seemed like a good match even though she assured me that they were just friends and he told me she was "like a sister" to him. She was even the one that encouraged me to date him and who I confided in about the troubles in our relationship.
Now that we are no longer together, it is killing me to see her replace me in his life. I keep on getting jealous and upset and crying privately about the slightest little things that they do together. I don't know why I'm doing this. I am not the one that ended the relationship five months ago, but I was the one that refused him when he came back several times wanting me back. He is an amazing guy, and he was good to me, but I feel very sure about not wanting to be with him. (He is brilliant but not ambitious, and it drives me crazy!) Yet, I just cannot seem to let him go. What do I do Dr. Sherry? How do I get past this and retain my friendship with my closest friend?
- Confused and Miserable