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Fashion Category
Tuesday, 27 November 2012 16:58

The Relationship Boundaries?

When you've been together long enough, you pick up each other's habits, finish each other's sentences, share a bed, a home, maybe a couple of kids. You become a unit. But have you retained your own identity? Can you define yourself as your own self, or only as one half of a couple? Being part of a strong relationship is the ultimate achievement, but only if this is in a healthy and positive way, without giving up what makes you unique. Remember that you and your partner chose each other because of these individualities. For example, let's say that you have a friend, Sue. Sue is a motivated and successful Sales Manager at a hi-tech company. She loves traveling, going to art galleries and working out at the gym. Sue always has time for her friends and always offers an ear to listen. Sue meets Bob. And falls in love. Three years down the line, Sue and Bob are married and are in an intense and passionate relationship. You hardly ever see Sue anymore. Bob is very demanding of Sue's time. He prefers to stay at home, so they don't socialize much. Sue no longer visits art galleries and has…
Monday, 26 November 2012 16:22

Money Equals Love

When we think of prosperity and of creating abundance, it's easy enough to see how working at a job that we love helps us to earn more money then if we worked at a job we hated. We can also see that if we add plenty of love and warm-fuzzies towards how we treat our coworkers, bosses, employees, and customers, then it makes sense that people will like doing business with us and we'll again earn more money. We can understand how putting our love into the product or service that we sell makes for a superior product or service and therefore raises the perceived value of that product or service. Here's the hard part... it holds true in our personal relationships too. How many women complain that their husbands don't spend enough time with them? The wife complains that her husband doesn't appear to really care about her. She thinks there is a lack of deep emotional connection between the two of them. "You don't say that you love me! Therefore you must not love me!" He quickly points out that her argument that his lack of flowers and romantic words doesn't mean that he doesn't love her. After…
Friday, 23 November 2012 16:07

Maintain Your Beauty On A Budget

Like me, I'm sure many of you are beauties on a budget. While I enjoy certain luxuries of my New Jersey life, I definitely miss the affordable living of my Georgia roots. I pay almost double for a studio in Jersey than what I paid in Georgia for a two-bedroom apartment with a full kitchen, living room, dining room and backyard that I rarely used due to unidentifiable bugs and deathly heat. People told me the expenses would all balance out because people "up north" get paid more. I quickly discovered that to be a big fat lie. The few extra dollars doesn't cover the significantly higher housing expenses, tolls to and from work (I freakin' hate those things at $3 a day), gas and even groceries are more. I'm a girly girl and as bad as it sounds, I was a little worried about having to surrender my beauty and leisure lifestyle.But after subtracting my monthly bills from what I brought home, I was able to make due with the money I had left, have extra on the side and stay cute! Here are a few practices I incorporated into my budget. I hope they help the budget beautynista…
Friday, 23 November 2012 15:59

Importance Of A Pre-Cheating Conversation

The most freakish part about being in a new relationship is that moment when you realize that the initial happy go lucky phase is over and real effort is needed, emotional effort that is. You realize this one day as you sit in silence with your premature ejaculator imagination thinking about all the potential scenarios of infidelity while he's with the boys basking in tube sock testosterone womanless freedom secretly missing your behind periodically wondering the same thing....Could she? Nah...Even the most secure couples have had their minds sway and play tricks, we're served platters of betrayal galore on a daily basis (Thank you talk shows!). As you stand in the line at the grocery store the newsstand is flooded with headlines of infidelity, weight loss victories and what ifs. Somehow there is this great need in our society for perfection and the idea is that if you are not striving hard enough you'll become a headline yourself.He amazes me with his undying curiosity into my psyche. The recent Battle of The Sexes show topic, "Is Monogamy A Myth?" rattled a few cages. It made us come together to discuss a topic that can be painful, curious, tense yet has…
Wednesday, 21 November 2012 17:24

Spending The Holidays Together

As the holidays approach, and autumnal decorations and candies flood the stores, people are counting down the days till Christmas before Thanksgiving even arrives. I, however, am not thinking about any of that. I am too busy battling an ulcer-sized pain in my stomach from worrying, thinking about celebrating my first holiday season with my boyfriend. Much like many firsts I'm celebrating in my newly adult life like yoga, wine tasting, and psychics (hence, this blog exploring new things), I'm about to experience Thanksgiving and Christmas with someone else. If this is your first holiday with someone else, share in my anxiety and learn from my friends who have done this all before. Have the conversation early – Now that you're sharing your life with someone, you have to share their family too. If you haven't already, start the conversation now. Where will you spend Thanksgiving? What about Christmas/Channukah? What about New Year's? Whose family has the biggest celebration for each holiday? You're bound to make holiday family-time sacrifices in order to spend the holidays with each other, and try to make both families happy. Chances are someone's family will be bummed (or devastated) regardless of how you try to…
Tuesday, 20 November 2012 14:45

Does He Like Me?

Learn some sure fire ways to tell if a guy likes you. He's standing over there talking with his friends when you initially saw him. You believe he looked at you too with a look of interest, but perhaps you were fantasizing again. But no – you are certain the two of you made eye contact and then it broke. Then you're stuck with the question; how to tell if a guy likes you. Should you walk up to him and say something? What's the worst thing that could happen? He can ignore you totally or tell you he's not interested, but in the scheme of this wonderful thing called life, that's just a temporary disappointment to a beautiful, intelligent woman like yourself. Still, all of that temporary discomfort can be avoided with a little knowledge. It's really not as complicated as some people make it out to be. In fact, all you have to do is be alert. By being alert, you may see some of the basic ways that you can tell if a guy likes you. Way 1: All you have to do is check out the rumor mill. Has he been asking questions to learn more…
Monday, 19 November 2012 16:22

When To Say Yes

One of the most uplifting words in the English language can be one of the most upsetting when it's said without considering the consequences. Columnist Leigh Newman weighs in. 1. What Will I Have To Give Up To Say Yes?If you're doing a favor, the answer to the question is pretty darn obvious. You're giving your money, time or energy to someone else, which means you'll have less for yourself. But what about when a friend suggests doing a favor for you? In that blazing moment of joy that comes when another human being offers you free help, you still need to pause and consider. Because even if that person wants to mow your 10-acre lawn for free (clearly, a dream sequence), you will have to give up something. It might be control: Maybe the person chops off the grass at 3 inches high when you prefer 2 inches, or uses pesticides you don't like. It might be freedom, like the person needing you to be home on Saturdays to let him into the garage. In my example, of course, no matter what the cost is, your answer is yes, followed by multiple slobbering thank-yous. In others, little issues like…
Friday, 16 November 2012 16:12

What's Destroying Your Relationship?

Respectfully receiving critical feedback is a key skill for a happy and healthy relationship. The ability to temporarily put aside our own feelings and our own way of seeing the situation, and truly listen to our partner's feelings and perspective, allows us to safely air grievances and work through conflicts. Without that safe space, the love and goodwill of a relationship runs the risk of being burned up by resentment and anger. No one, however, likes to be criticized. No one likes hearing how they are disappointing the person they love. No one likes feeling blamed, misunderstood or under-appreciated. And so a lot of us are experts in defense — both in defending ourselves and hitting up against the defenses of our partner. Do any of these defense tactics sound familiar? Placating. Critical feedback is tuned out and brushed over. 'Yes, dear, okay, honey, whatever you say.' Invalidating. One partner tries to convince the other that his or her complaint is not legitimate. 'Why are you making such a big deal out of this? Are you just trying to find things to be upset about? This isn't even a real problem.' Chronic postponing. If one partner brings up a complaint,…
Thursday, 15 November 2012 14:46

Working Out Problems

Addressing conflict can be challenging for many of us. Many times we either 'fight' or 'fly' depending on how we were raised and how we saw our families of origin deal with issues. 'Fighting' and 'flying' both lead to alienation and these are aggressive and passive responses respectively. When we are passive in dealing with conflict we may feel powerless to change what we consider a 'hostile dynamic' so we react by withdrawing, retreating or hiding. This often results in blocks to communication. On the other side of the spectrum by acting aggressively to address conflict we react in a way that's scary and intimidating to others. As a result we stand to alienate the people we're interacting with. One of the most empowering ways I know to communicate around conflict is by using assertive behaviors. Using assertive strategies allows us to respond rather than react and we build mutual respect and intimacy rather than alienation. Becoming assertive requires a very conscious shift in our mindset. We must first recognize that we have rights. This is fundamental to changing unhealthy relationship dynamics and will allow us to gain the respect we desire in our relationships. 1. Recognize your rights. You…
Wednesday, 14 November 2012 16:50

What If He Doesn't Call Back

Don't wait by the phone for your date to call. If he isn't making the move, it may be time to bail! Too often I talk with women who have every excuse in the book as to why the guy they are dating or just starting to get to know is not getting back to them in a timely manner. "It's just a bad time for him," "He's been really busy with work," "He was out of town for a few days and probably just hasn't had time to call" or "His computer crashed and his cell phone fell in the toilet." I call foul on all of these excuses. Are there times when life does get in the way and we have a harder time getting together with people or are too stressed to cope with relationships? Absolutely. However, in this day and age where cell phones that are practically attached to us, texting, email, phone alerts, Facebook, Twitter, etc., we should be able to at least send a quick note to someone to let them know we are thinking about them and will be back in circulation soon. So, if a guy can't even do that? Well, then,…
Tuesday, 13 November 2012 19:17

Did you get played?

Ladies, how many times have you heard from a man that you are currently dating, currently sleeping with, or a man you think you're dating say to you that he only wants to be friends, he's not looking for an exclusive relationship, or that he does not want to be married? How many times have you heard the phrases "I'm not ready to settle down just yet", "I know you're a good woman but...", or "I think we should just be friends" after you have engaged in a plethora of relationship-like activities? Why is it that when a man is honest about what he does and does not want in a relationship (if he wants a relationship at all) we don't take to head and heart what he is saying? Why is it that we hear these phrases and other words, but in most cases we don't really listen to what the man is really saying? Is it because we want to hear and believe something else? Or is it because we believe we can change his mind about wanting a relationship? When a man makes it clear that he does not want an exclusive relationship with one woman, why…
Monday, 12 November 2012 14:46

Rediscover Perfect Passion

13 Ways To Rediscover Perfect Passion To be touched is one thing. To feel the passion of a lover's touch is something else. It means surrendering to the relationship, hungering for love, igniting an inner flame. To feel passion is to experience no pain. But passion is only possible when lovers connect to their own wells of love within. Only then can they connect and spark together. Here are 10 ways you can experience deep, meaningful passion in your own life. 1. Take care of your past, suppressed darkness and the wounds of abandoned love. I have worked with many women and some men who tell me that they don't feel a connection to their sexuality or that it feels dead or shut down. I have also been in this place and realized my sexuality was still connected with a past experience or past lover. Self-worth and your connection to self-love play a big part in your sexuality. When you have unresolved issues or suppressed emotions, it's hard to feel the connection to your open heart. It creates a barrier or lack of desire to be intimate with someone. You might have left your sexuality with a past relationship. 2.…
Friday, 09 November 2012 09:00

Anger & Forgiveness

Anger And Forgiveness: Let Go And Be Emotionally Free Once And For All Anger and forgiveness seem to be opposites, and in many ways they are. You may be surprised to learn, however, that they have a lot in common. If you make anger the "bad guy," you just won't get to the forgiving part. Anger has to be fully understood and released before you get to move on to the freedom of forgiveness. Forgiveness has to be fully understood before you can let go of resentments and be emotionally whole and free. It all starts with love. We are born with the need to love and be loved, and no one, even the best parents, can meet that need perfectly. Therefore we all feel hurt as a natural part of life. And of course, there are those hurts that are inflicted by abuse, abandonment and neglect, in some cases extreme. From this pain, fear and anger naturally emerge. It makes perfect sense to be angry when you're hurt. Anger is an important place to visit, you just don't want to live there. Here is where forgiveness comes in. Forgiveness is the process of letting go of anger and resentment…
Thursday, 08 November 2012 15:38

Obtaining Front-End Love

How many times have you been in a relationship or were perhaps getting into one and have used the word "never". Maybe you've said something like this.I will *never* talk with a guy who does not want to commit up front, or I will *never* date a woman with children. If you're honest, we're almost certain that everyone one on the planet has taken a similar stance when it comes to expressing their ideal needs and wants in a relationship, only to find that they did the exact opposite out of fear for losing a person that piqued their interest. As we wrap up the historical 2012 election, we bring to your attention two words -- "collective bargaining." You have heard these words over and over in the onslaught of ads for a particular proposal that appeared on the ballot.When you really look closely, many of our relationships can reflect such practices of bartering and dealing. Generally one person deals and the other person barters, but both people take the offer. We offer this this scenario as the perfect example. A writer has been waiting forever to get their foot in the door with a global newspaper. The publisher of…